When the worst moment of her life happened, Grace was in a space she had never been in before. She was numb and hysterical at the same time. She was in shock and deeply affected. Her world had been turned upside down and there was no escaping. The love of her life was gone. Her reason for living had evaporated in one quick instant. Grace knew she was in a place of no return. If only ... if only the clock would turn back to that terrible moment ... if only she could touch his face and say good-bye ... if only this had never happened. But the cold, hard reality in life is that we don't get to go back and change what happened. We have to sit here in the pain and discomfort of losing the person we loved the most in this world and nothing can make it better.
Grief requires care and attention of a special kind. It requires a listening heart, a zone of no judgment, no advice. It needs to be allowed to be as intense or as numb or as confused as it honestly is. The work of supporting grievers is challenging, yet so simple. We just need to let a person be exactly where they are without any "don't" or "at least" or "later on it'll be".
Transforming Grief is developing a community resource of grievers who understand and support fellow grievers. It is peer to peer support, and it is for everyone who has ever experienced a loss or gone through a traumatic event.
The honest answer is that she can go on living because she has close connections with people who have gone through similar experiences, each in their own way. Grace has friends, cohorts who get how painful it is and who don't have to fix anything. The gift we can offer one another is the gift of presence and that cannot be found in many places.